Like that One Time Lois Forced Us to Live Together
by Beautiful x lie
Summary: Stewie is sixteen and crying out for attention, in a totally subtle and not whiny way though. So Lois gets the bright idea to move him in with their close family friend Brian who just recently bought a new apartment. Will it work? AU Brian is human.


A/N: This is my first story in this fandom but since I started watching the show Stewie and Brian's banter was always hilarious to me and I was really sad at the lack of Brian/Stewie fanfiction. So why not write my own? Haha this story will be moved to my other account, . within the next few days. Comment and tell me what you think (this is unbetaed so there might be minor errors, if you catch any feel free to inform me!)

**-Alyssa**

Chapter One: The Start.

The bright red embarrassment and shame flickered clearly on the teens face, sharp in contrast to the white bed sheets. He wanted to run, hide, duck, do anything to get away. Maybe if he closed his eyes it would all disappear.

His mother opened her mouth to speak; her voice came out low and disbelieving.

"What…what is going on?"

Lois glanced from Stewie, who was covering what was left of his dignity with a thin sheet, to the other boy grinning nervously and wringing his hands. The red haired woman cocked her hip against the doorframe and leveled her stare. Stewie squirmed but held steady.

"Stewie, who is this?" Lois inquired curiously, her tone held as almost nonchalant but her hands, which were anchored on the whitewashed walls, were shaking. The sound of splintering wood resounded through the room, clear and tragically musical.

He knew his face was stolid and stony now. He recovered quickly from the initial shock of his mother walking in. Though he would not let her get away with seeing him vulnerable. Rolling his eyes and sitting up straighter, Stewie pointed over to the other boy.

"_Mother_, this is or well, _was_ my boyfriend. Oscar."

For the preamble of the introduction Oscar looked smug and side smirked in Stewie's direction. Upon hearing he was no longer the boyfriend he growled slightly and stood abruptly, causing Lois to turn away at the sudden nudity that infiltrated the room.

The blonde boy placed his hand heavily on his hip and pointed an accusing finger at Stewie.

"FINE! You were a lousy lay anyway!" The statement should have been insulting and degrading but the whining only left Stewie feeling accomplished.

He waved his hand casually and pulled his arms up behind his head, gazing at Oscar from underneath his eyelashes.

"And you, my former friend, need to work on your head-giving abilities. It was quite sloppy actually." Stewie suggested wearing a lazy smile.

Stomping his foot one final time, Oscar stalked out of the room.

Stewie lay back down against the rumpled pillow. The harsh growl of his mother clearing her throat caused him to glower at her with dark coal eyes and pencil thin lips.

"What. Lois." The annoyed teen directed. After all, the seemingly question like phrase came out as more of an order.

For a moment it was silent. Stewie glared daggers and knives and chainsaws and everything else sharp and pointed at Lois. While she just raised an eyebrow and gingerly sat at the very edge of the bed, cupping her hands together apparently to keep herself under control.

Her smile was forced, it almost scary how much she was keeping in. Stewie wasn't having it. He wanted anger and rage and fuel! He needed to see something raw.

"Out with it, woman!" He screamed, trying to provoke some sort of reaction out of his mother.

She just placed her hand on top of his curled fist and shook her head slightly.

"What am I going to do with you Stewie?"

Her voice was defeated, flat and emotionless. Her eyes were even more guarded than usual. Stewie's eyes flashed confusion before further darkening, he settled into his pillow.

"How long has this…this thing been going on?"

Lois admits, she had a hunch about Stewie. The way he never really took an interest in girls his age and well she tried to introduce him but he always came up with excuses.

The teen in question raised his eyes to meet his mothers. Cocking his head to the side he replied.

"How long do you _think_ it's been going on?"

His face was void of emotion and one eyebrow was raised as if challenging her.

A sigh, "Stewie, really. I want you to be honest!"

Her voices rose with each word and before she knew it her arms were raised in exasperation. Something in Stewies demeanor changed. His head snapped up, vision colliding dangerously with Lois'.

"What Lois? How long have I been SCREWING him? About a month. How long have I been a cock-sucking FAGGOT?! About two years _mom._"

The bed shook slightly just as Stewie was. His pale skeletal excuses for arms did nothing to hold him up, the sharp juts of his cheek and jaw were prominent as he clenched his fists and bared his teeth.

His heart was a pounding bass drum running a marathon in his chest. Lois stood. Her eyes were trained on Stewie.

"Why do you have to make things difficult?"

It was only a whisper, brushing over his ear and getting in his head.

"Me? _Really_. I make things difficult Lois? When did you EVER try to listen to what I had to say?! For Christ's sake woman you listen to MEGAN more than me!!"

Stewie was on his feet now, all gawky limbs and bony hips. The sheet was draped over his waist loosely, serving its single purpose to cover him up. His chin was high and his eyes defiant.

Lois faltered, there was a misstep in her face. It fell from angered, to awakened and hurt. Stewie smirked.

"You know it's true Lois." He provided, voice sugary sweet yet dripping with venom.

She ducked her head for a moment, as if to contemplate a response then locked eyes with her son. The defeated look should have caused him to back down but he loved taking advantage when someone is feeling weak.

"What are you going to do about it? Huh? Are you going to listen to me? Or…are you going to pretend to listen and HUMOR me like you do The Fat Man?"

He was pacing the room, walking carnivorous circles around her, one lanky leg after the other.

"Do you even WANT me here Lois? Am I really that much of a burden?" His voice was more patronizing than intended but he saw his mother wince and smiled.

"Stewie, listen…" Lois started but was immediately cut off.

"NO WOMAN. YOU LISTEN. I have HAD IT with living here! Everyday I try to get attention from you and my father. Every DAY I brought Oscar here in attempts to get caught in the act. IT WAS ALL FOR ATTENTION. Now don't misunderstand me, I am homosexual BUT this little 'fling' with that petty idiot was all to get you to LOOK AT ME."

Only the lamp lighted the room, the shades were drawn and the shadows cast eerie shapes on Lois' face. Stewie felt his legs give and fell unceremoniously onto the bed.

"You…you really feel that way?"

His mother's voice sounded small and sad but the undertone sounded like she had an idea. Oh how he detested that.

"Yes! I really do." He was exasperated but with good reason.

"Well…" She started off, "how about we move you somewhere else? To live away from us seeing as you are entirely stressed out."

An eyebrow was raised but no questions were asked. The mood of the room seemed significantly lighter, but Stewie did not like where the conversation was going.

"We'll move you in with Brian! He just bought that new apartment! Oh this is wonderful!" Lois announced, clearly enthused with her idea.

Stewie felt a migraine. Living with Brian would be like living with Peter in a house with no food or cable.

Well maybe not to that extreme but the personality clash was too much. Before he could stop his mother from dialing, she picked up the phone and chatted enthusiastically.

That's it. Stewie was screwed.

---

Chapter 2 coming soon! Review so I know I have people to write for hahaha


End file.
